I’m so glad I see my therapist tomorrow. I’ve never considered myself anxious, but right now the anxiety is almost paralyzing. I’m too stunned to even cry. Too scared to plan anything for the future; but I do know I want to make it better, brighter, not what is staring down the barrel at us right now.
To everyone reading, remember, you matter.
We are in this together.
I will fight for you.
…just as soon as I can.
the best liar you know 
Britni,
Read in a book, (on Buddhism no doubt), that sometimes you have to follow things to the bottom without trying to escape or reason your way out of it. Give up your fear of being scared to death and just look right at the problem. No more “what if it gets worse?” possibilities to hang over you–you did it, you survived and now have something to work on.
There’s something about avoiding things that might make it worse that sets off an avalanche of pointless possibilities. Far better to hold out your hand and follow “it” is to wherever it’s going. Turns out, you are an extremely strong person.