Today I’m struggling, I’ve had a bad head cold all weekend and am back in class and at work today. I don’t think I’m quite ready for it though, I think I need more rest. And I’d sure like to know if this is a fever or repeated hot flashes.
Visited Dr. B today, after a very stressful morning (my poor doggy woke us up early with bloody diarrhea, so we’re off to the vet this afternoon). I always leave her office upset. She increased my amitriptyline prescription to double the dose, since it had stopped being effective at controlling my ocular migraines. It also had stopped helping me sleep and wasn’t doing a good job of controlling my aching muscles and joints. I tried to talk to her about my aching muscular-skeletal system, but she brushed it off- asking me “do you spend a lot of time sitting, reading?” which of course I do- I’m a graduate student and she knows it, I spend a lot of time reading or working at my computer. But I always have, and I don’t think this pain is a result of that. Then she said, “well have a good day” and left. I know I can be a frustrating patient, but its frustrating for me too, especially when I’m (well, my insurance anyway) paying you to give me your attention and help determine ways to actually make me feel better and have a decent quality of life! And, I was so worried about my dog that I completely forgot to ask her what inflammation test she ran last time she did my blood work. Endometriosis is an inflammatory disease and I want to know if the test is sensitive enough to pick up the inflammation as a result of it. I don’t think it is, but I want to make a well-informed decision about remaining on the letrazole once I have to switch insurance companies in March. The new insurance won’t cover it, and I need to determine if it’s worth paying for it out of pocket. I’m just so frustrated about doctors who blow you off or ignore you, that I’m not sure I can even muster up the strength to call her office to talk to her about it.
I wish my doctors were as good as the veterinarians I take my pets to. I work with them a lot (one of my kitties Icarus just had major knee surgery and was doing continuous acupuncture before that) and they never second guess what I tell them. If I want to test for something, they’ll tell me the cost, and if I agree they’ll do it- not tell me its too expensive so we should just wait and see. They are always kind and compassionate with my animals, and have gone out of their way to make their veterinary experience less traumatic and more enjoyable. They remember me, even when I’m in with a different pet (which is impressive, as I take my pets to a veterinary teaching hospital- part of the local veterinary school, so we’re always seeing different veterinary students, etc.), and always ask how the others are doing. They’ll even call around to the local pharmacies and check with their own to find the cheapest place to get a prescription filled. And, best of all, they don’t brush me off or make me feel bad when I come in with some concern over my pets- even if it turns out not to be anything serious. Yeah. I really wish my doctors were as good as my veterinarians.
Two and a half weeks ago, I decided I needed a new hobby. Not that as I graduate student I have lots of time for hobbies, or, at least, shouldn’t be spending lots of time on hobbies rather than giving my attention to my research, but because I need something good and relaxing to do, for me. (Not that research isn’t good. . . just not always relaxing and generally is quite taxing). I also wanted something I could do with my hands, to keep them moving, because they had become quite painful and stiff the past few months. I decided on crochet.
I watched a bunch of YouTube videos, scoured the web for beginner tutorials and information, picked up some beginning supplies from Micheal’s, and got to work. My first project was. . . a little rough. But I persevered and discovered I really, really like it. I’ve made four projects so far, and am finishing up a present for my littlest brother at the moment. I love that not only is it fairly simple to do, but that I am actually creating something. And I find it incredibly relaxing (for the most part, I am hating the project I picked for my little brother- but he’ll love it so it will be worth it).
Although I haven’t been doing it for long, I’ve found it to be very beneficial for my mental health, and will be something I continue doing for as long as I can. It’s really nice to have a new hobby.