My world isn’t spinning, but it definitely isn’t still either. It’s a weird state of dizziness that I don’t know how to describe.
I’m not lightheaded. Actually, my head feels like it weighs a ton. But it does feel like a balloon, far disconnected from the rest of my body.
I’m uncoordinated. My body awareness is minimal. I’ve run into everything today, and toppled over standing still.
My mind is stretched to it’s limits just existing. Like someone left a manuscript out in the pouring rain. Everything that once was there, sharp and delineated, is run-together – smeared and weeping into each other. Nothing is distinguishable anymore, but the evidence of something that once was still remains.
I haven’t even been writing my symptoms down to take to doctors lately. I’ve stopped tracking my meals. Everything is so much effort. And nothing seems to be making a difference.
Today is going to be a long day.
Today I’m simply existing.