I came up with an analogy today while talking to my psychologist about my most recent difficulties with cognition:
It’s like I’m a magician reaching into my hat to pull out a rabbit, and I can’t find it. I know there should be something there, but I’m just grasping around where I can’t see, to find something I know should be there, and can’t find anything I want. Sometimes I get lucky and pull something out, but usually not what I wanted or was looking for.
Thinking on it more… It’s also kind of like trying to solve a puzzle with a blind-fold on, in a dark room, with the pieces spread out all over the room. You know the pieces are there, but you can’t easily find them, let alone see how they fit together to make a cohesive whole.
Lots of grasping in dark vastness.
Some days there is lots of metal fog, or trying to swim in concrete where nothing moves and everything is stuck, but on the best of days its like groping in the dark.